Laurel and Hardy's Fabulous Fables
by PinkPearl96
Summary: This is a series of TV specials that was supposed to be rehearsed and aired in 1956. Stan Laurel was recovering from a stroke in April 1955, then Oliver Hardy had a paralyzing stroke in September 1956. This is my interpretation of the unaired tv show, some episodes are based off of movies they were supposed to make, but didn't. There are a total of 10 episodes. "From soup to nuts."
1. 1 Their future peek

**Laurel and Hardy's Fabulous Fables (1956)**

**This is a series of TV specials that was supposed to be rehearsed and aired in 1956. **

**Stan Laurel was recovering from a stroke he had in April 1955, but then tragedy struck when Oliver Hardy had a stroke of his own that left him paralyzed in September 1956. **

**Now onto what would have been the TV show "Laurel and Hardy's Fabulous Fables".**

**Note: This is my own interpretation. There are samples of Stan's scripts in "The Comedy World of Stan Laurel" but unfortunately I do not have the book.**

**I do not own any of this, I'm just a fan with a creative mind, who wanted to create a "What if" story. **

**"What if they hadn't gotten sick and made their planned tv series?"**

**What if they were healthy enough to continue working.**

**WHAT IF THEY COULD CHANGE THEIR DESTINY AND ALTER THEIR FUTURE?**

**chapter 1: A look into their Future (what if)**

**2\. Rob Em Good 1936 (robin hood)**

**3\. Galaxy of the Stars 1945 ****(L&H in space)**

**4\. Rogue Song 1947 ****(expanded 1930 version)**

**5\. Babes in the woods (1949) (hansel & gretel)**

**6\. A Spot of Trouble (1952)**

**mini story (Hats Off 1927) with an ostrich**

**7\. Devils Island (1954) **

**8\. The Red Mill (1956)**

**9\. Me and My Shadow (1958) **

**10\. By Jupiter (1960)**

**11\. A Salute to Roach and Griffith (1962)**

**This first little blurb is a what if Stan and Ollie had an unexpected occurrence. **

**They had a once in a lifetime chance to look into a mirror of the future. **

**(A real mirror that showed each of them their future and their future was able to look at their past in the present.) **

**...Tell me that again**

Anyway On to the Show.

Time period 1935 (Shown 1940-1965)

Stan and Ollie were in a room called "The Room of Mirrors".

These mirrors were supposed to show you your future on the day of a lunar eclipse.

They saw their split up with Hal.

Stan wondered if the split was because of the recent disagreement they had on March of the Wooden Soldiers.

They saw their movies from the 40's.

Stan cringed at what he was seeing.

Ollie stayed silent, observing the situation.

They saw their tours in Europe.

They smiled at that because they were well received and loved over in Europe.

Then they saw Atoll K.

Stan and Ollie looked very frightened.

They noted their failing health in their final movie.

Stan was especially horrified at his time in the hospital in France during the movie.

After their final movie, the boys were so ashamed.

Then Stan's stroke in 1954; they realized they would never get to revive the Laurel and Hardy name.

Stan felt extremely self conscious for his future self.

Stan got better and the young versions of the boys became hopeful for their expected tv series in 1956.

Then Ollie had his horrific stroke in 1956.

The boys' dreams were crushed but they were more worried on the fate of their future selves, especially in Ollie's condition.

They both feared for Ollie's future health.

Ollie became paralyzed.

The boys watched with tears in their eyes, as future Ollie suffered with paralysis.

They saw future Stan cry during his visits to Ollie, both so helpless.

They never saw their bond fade, always strong, always present.

The love that they had for each other grew stronger.

They vowed to always be there for each other.

Always….. even in death, they were together.

Ollie died in 1957.

Stan never felt so alone.

Stan continued living, mostly as a recluse.

He never went outside after his stroke and especially not after Ollie died.

He couldn't face the world without Ollie.

They watched Stan win his Oscar in 1961.

A lingering sadness in both time periods that Ollie wasn't with him.

One thing never changed, Stan always wrote to his fans.

He was always at his typewriter, watching the ocean, or with his grandchildren.

Then Stan's health began to decline.

The 1930's Stan and Ollie watched with sadness as old Stan's (Mr. Laurel) health worsened.

Then they both touched the mirror at the same time.

Young Stan and Ollie were sucked through the mirror into the future.

They looked at Mr. Laurel with surprise.

Mr. Laurel looked at them with sad eyes.

"Hello Stan and Babe." He said.

"How are we here?" Ollie said.

"Babe, I can't explain it myself, it just happened." Mr. Laurel answered.

"We know what happens to my future self." Ollie said.

Mr. Laurel sighed, tears in his eyes.

"I miss you Babe." His voice broke.

Ollie went over and gave Mr. Laurel a hug.

"I'm always with you even when I'm not here." Ollie said.

Mr. Laurel smiled and wiped his tears.

Young Stan watched, his heart aching for he knew what the future held.

Mr. Laurel looked at Stan and smiled.

"Looks like you could use a hug as well. I never thought a word without Babe was possible. Enjoy the time you have together now, time is precious." Mr. Laurel said wisely.

Mr. Laurel's time was drawing near.

"I will soon join Babe once again. Don't you worry." He said.

Ollie reached over and grabbed Stan's hand.

Stan held firmly to Ollie's hand, as if afraid he would disappear at this moment.

Mr. Laurel smiled at this, their bond grew stronger.

Then they could all hear old Babe's (Mr. Hardy) voice from heaven,

"Life is precious, enjoy the moments while you can. We will always be together."

The three of them smiled at that.

Mr. Laurel looked at his Oscar, "Babe this award is ours to share. I never stopped loving and missing you."

Then Mr. Laurel closed his eyes and drifted off, joining Mr. Hardy once more.

At that same moment, Stan and Ollie were transported back to their own time.

In unison, Stan and Ollie said "We will always be together, even in death."

Then they hugged each other, tears fell, and their bond grew stronger.

They saw how beloved they were to fans, but what was more important was the love they had for each other.

What we shared will never die. We will be together by and by, Goodbye Babe Goodbye.

*Now they know their future and are out to change their destiny.

* These movies are a result of their resolution to stick with Hal.

They are healthy enough to continue working.

Now onto the first episode: Rob Em Good


	2. 2 Rob Em Good

Rob Em Good 1936

King Finn (King Richard says James Finlayson) has been captured by the Duke of Austria.

Finn's brother Prince John, (Henry Brandon) assumes the throne.

Prince John is a tyrant, who oppresses the Saxons and raises taxes to secure his place on the throne.

Among the other dignitaries, there was Lady Marion (Mae Busch) and Lady Isabella (Thelma Todd).

The Saxon nobleman, Sir Robin of Locksley (Robert Bailey) does not like Prince John's tyrannical ways.

Robin bravely proclaims that he will stop Prince John from spreading fear throughout the country and will restore Finn to the throne.

Robin resides in Sherwood Forest and finds new recruits for his army; the first two recruits are Little John Laurel and Friar Hardy.

Robin, Laurel, and Hardy will protect the Normans from the Saxons tyrannical reign.

*Enter Laurel and Hardy

Robin jumps in front of them and draws his sword.

Stan and Ollie do the same.

Robin says Greetings my good men.

Ollie says Why hello there.

Stan says Are you friendly?

Robin says It depends on who you think is friendly. I'm looking for a few good men to join me in defeating the Normans. Will you care to join me?

Ollie says Certainly.

Later on

*Laurel, Hardy, and Robin are floating down the river on a raft, searching for new recruits.

Robin is telling the boys about King Fin and the Normans.

Ollie says Well he sounds like a royal pain. Next time we see him, we are going to give him a piece of my mind.

Stan says We certainly are. We would give him a piece of his mind too, but he doesn't have any to spare.

Soon Robin and the boys recruit more men for their army.

The army he forms is seen as outlaws, when they really are protectors of the Saxons.

Robin is walking along discussing with a few gentlemen, his ideals and the purpose of their little army.

*Enter Laurel and Hardy

Robin says We must steal form the rich and give to the poor.

Stan says He's got it all switched around, we need to give to the poor by stealing from the poor, that way we cut out the middle man.

Ollie says Say that again.

Stan says We need to steal from the poor and give the middle man to the rich there by getting rid of the rich and….

Robin says No you fool, we steal from the rich and give to the poor and treat all men and women with courtesy, Norman or Saxon.

Robin and his band of men went around the countryside, killing Prince John's tax collectors and any Norman nobleman who abuses his power.

Laurel and Hardy attempted to stop the tax collectors, but normally ended up falling in the river or hitting each other with clubs.

While they were in the forest, Laurel and Hardy set traps to capture the Normans.

Ollie says Now be careful Stanley, don't set off any of these traps.

Stan says I won't Ollie.

Stan steps over the trap and grabs a wooden panel.

He turns around and the wooden panel hits Ollie in the rear end.

Ollie falls down on the grass and the trap is rigged.

The vines raise up and tangle Ollie in them as if he were in a net.

Ollie says Oh Stan, why don't you help me? Get me down from here.

Stan cuts the rope holding the vine net.

Ollie falls on top of Stan.

Ollie gives his famous camera look and Stan scratches his head, confused.

Then they proceed to fix their traps, not without instigating a few more messes.

Finally their efforts paid off and they captured many Normans including Sir Guy, Lady Marion, and Lady Isabella.

Robin decided to taunt Sir Guy, as he had been a main source of pain and misery for the Saxons.

As soon as Robin and his men stripped the Normans of their weapons, clothes, and food; they were forced to stay prisoner for a while.

Stan took a piece of fruit from one of the Normans and took a bite.

It was a piece of fake fruit and his teeth got stuck in it.

Ollie tried to pull the fruit off, but it wouldn't budge.

Finally Stan got it loose and pulled it out.

Laurel and Hardy were immediately captured by the beauty of Lady Isabella and Lady Marion.

Lady Marion and Friar Hardy take a walk in the woods.

Though the men were captured, the ladies were able to walk freely around their campsite.

Lady Isabella and Little John Laurel were at the campsite trying to decide who would go fetch some water from the creek.

On the way to the creek, they run into Lady Marion and Friar Hardy.

Lady Marion and Friar Hardy were becoming increasingly close, as were Lady Isabella and Little John Laurel.

Little John Laurel says I'm going to get some water from the river.

Friar Hardy says No, I will do it, you would probably spill it.

As Friar Hardy went to the river, Little John Laurel tripped over a rock and stumbled into Friar Hardy.

Friar Hardy fell into the river.

He gazed up at Little John Laurel and said, Well here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.

Then he gives his classic camera look and huffs.

Lady Marion helps him out of the river and they return to the campsite to allow Friar Hardy's clothes to dry.

During their time together, Ladys Marion and Isabella come to see that the Norman's intentions aren't as pure and beneficial as they seem.

They see the good in Robin's intentions and decide to help the boys in their quest.

Robin decides to let Sir Guy and the Sherrif leave Sherwood, humiliated.

Lady Marion and Isabella decide to stay for a while.

When Lady Marion and Isabella depart, they say goodbye to their companions Friar Hardy and Little John Laurel.

The boys' hearts have been captured by these two influential creatures.

Lady Marion and Isabella return to the castle to Prince John, but don't share their experience.

Sir Guy shares what he has learned with Prince John.

Together they devise a scheme to capture Robin by announcing an archery tournament with the prize of a golden arrow to be presented by the two Ladies.

Robin wins the archery tournament.

Then the guards surround him, preventing escape.

Their plan is to hang him.

Friar Hardy and Little John Laurel won't let that happen.

They attempt to free Robin.

Chaos ensues, as it always does with the boys; and a sword fight is started inside the castle walls.

*Inside the castle, Robin, Stan, Ollie, Sir Guy and one of his guards were fighting.

As Little John Laurel and Friar Hardy take on one of the guards, Robin and Sir Guy were engaged in a battle.

During the sword fight scene, Little John Laurel and Friar Hardy hid behind curtains away from the guard.

The guard sees their shoes poking out from the bottom of the curtain, attempting to puncture them.

He does not feel any flesh behind the curtains, so he pulls back the curtain and looks down.

Little John Laurel and Friar Hardy are on their knees, thus being too low to puncture with the sword.

They resume their sword fight and back the guard into a wall, then Friar Hardy knocks over a statue and it falls on the guard, knocking him out.

Despite defeating the guard, Robin is captured by Sir Guy and his reinforcements.

Unbeknownst to the kingdom, King Finn and several trusted knights have returned to England, disguised as monks.

Laurel and Hardy are out spying for Robin Hood to report any suspicious activity.

They stay at a roadside inn, the same inn that King Finn stays at while in disguise.

The king was replenishing his strength until he was ready to fight his brother for the throne.

He had heard the horrible things his brother had done; he was ready to fight for his kingdom if necessary.

*Enter Laurel and Hardy

Ollie says I'm glad we are able to go on our own for a while.

Stan says That Robin Hood is a nice fellow. We must help him stop Prince John.

King Finn says Did you say Prince John?

Stan says Yes, sir.

King Finn reveals himself.

Stan and Ollie do a double take.

Ollie says Why it's King Finn.

King Finn says Now don't tell anyone I'm here okay, I need to work on a plan to take down my brother.

Stan says We won't tell a soul right, Ollie? Now let's go report to Robin Hood.

Ollie says Now wait just a minute. Didn't you hear King Finn; we aren't to tell a soul.

The innkeeper asks Stan and Ollie to help with the cooking since his cooks quit.

Stan and Ollie agree; they walked into a clean organized kitchen.

Chaos ensued; the boys spilled the flour, broke some plates, and burnt the food.

King Finn ate whatever was edible.

For some reason, Stan and Ollie decided to set up traps for the night, they didn't want anyone coming to disturb the king.

The next morning, King Finn asked for a sparring partner.

Stan and Ollie both volunteered and drew their swords.

They didn't see the traps and they both got caught in an ivy made net.

Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into. Ollie said.

After they got down, they resume their fighting.

Their fighting doesn't last long, since Stan and Ollie are not very good swordsmen.

As they spar, they are spotted by the Bishop of Black Canons.

The Bishop alerts Prince John.

Malbete is given the task of disposing of Finn in return for the restoration of his rank of knight and Robin's manor and estate.

Marion overheard Prince John's plan to dispose of Finn.

She writes a note to Robin, but Sir Guy finds the note and has her arrested for treason.

Her punishment is execution.

Isabella warns Robin of the plot and Marion's pending execution.

Stan and Ollie are notified as well and bring King Finn to meet with Robin.

King Finn reveals his identity to Robin and his men.

Robin, King Finn, Stan, and Ollie devise a plan to sneak into Nottingham Castle.

The men disguise themselves as monks and plan to join the crowd in Prince John's coronation.

They sneak into the palace and interrupt the coronation, then a sword fight occurs.

Robin vs Sir Guy, Finn vs John, Stan and Ollie vs the Bishop.

During the sword fight, Stan and Ollie knock over a suit of knights armor.

The helmet lands on Stan's head and the breastplate lands on Ollie.

The boys find it difficult to fight with these items attached to them.

Ollie had a plan.

He took a nearby shield and hit the Bishop over the head with it

Then he took the helmet (with Stan still inside) and rammed the helmet into the stomach of the Bishop.

The helmet came loose from Stan's head.

Stan immediately perked up and went over to the door where the cells were.

He opened the door and Ollie kicked the Bishop in.

The Bishop fell down the stairs and was knocked unconscious.

Ollie went down the cell stairs, over the unconscious Bishop.

He frees Marion from her cell.

Prince John and his men are defeated and Finn exiles John and his followers.

Finn knights Robin and commends him of his loyalty and sword skills promoting him to Earl of Sherwood and protector of Nottingham.

The Saxons and Normans are now living in an equal society, where ridiculous taxes are not enforced.

Robin says May I obey all your commands with equal pleasure, Sire!

Ollie says See everything worked out Stanley.

Stan says It certainly did Ollie.

Stan and Ollie married Isabella and Marion.


	3. 3 Galaxy of Stars

Galaxy of the Stars 1945

Starring says Laurel, Hardy, Alyce Ardell, Viola Morse, James Finlayson

Stan and Ollie had a new job. They were now the cleanup crew of the newly built Space Station. Science had come a long way and now scientists were going to test the first rocket to the moon.

While they were cleaning, Stan decided to look through the telescope on display. Instead, he poked himself in the eye with a feather duster. Then he managed to look through the telescope.

He turned the telescope to the left and it hit Ollie in the face.

What are you looking at? Ollie asked him frustratingly.

I'm looking at the stars. Stan replied.

Ollie looked up, What stars? he asked.

Right over there. Stan said.

Ollie went to look in the telescope, but was poked in the eye instead.

Meanwhile, Stan went to dust the front of the telescope.

Ollie jumped back startled, as on the other side of the telescope, he saw Stan.

Will you move out of the way, I can't see. Ollie said.

Stan moved out of the way, but ran into the telescope, which also hit Ollie from the other end.

Ollie shoved the telescope around.

It went spinning; the boys ducked and missed it.

Then it came around a second time and hit both of them.

James Finlayson, the manager, came in and told them Stop messing around, there's plenty of work to be done. Go clean the ship.

Stan stood up, his head hit the telescope causing the glass to break.

The boys ran out before Fin could yell at them some more.

They went onto the spaceship to clean it.

I hope we get to the moon before the Russians do. Ollie said.

They go on board the spaceship; Stan begins to clean a handle while Ollie sweeps the floor.

Ollie says Don't touch that.

Why not Ollie?

Because you'll just mess things up. You do the floors; I'll do the important things. Ollie says confidently, and then nods.

Stan hits Ollie with the towel, then Ollie hits Stan with the broom.

Ollie attempts to hit Stan again but Stan ducks and Ollie hits the handle instead.

The doors close and they begin to panic.

It's okay, Ill press a button and call for help. Ollie says.

Ollie presses a red button, the rocket begins to rise.

It was the blast off button.

Well here's another nice mess you've gotten me into. Ollie says as the rocket goes into outer space.

The force and velocity of the ship causes the boys to fall to the floor.

As soon as the ship levels out, Stan and Ollie look out the window.

All they see are stars, they were in outer space.

Stan begins to whimper and cry.

'The girls are going to be mad at us.' Ollie thought.

Their wives Alyce Ardell Laurel and Viola Morse Hardy.

Meanwhile back on Earth,

Fin saw the rocket take off and quickly alerted security.

He ran to the control room to see the rockets position.

He viewed the security footage and saw the boys launch the rocket.

He was unable to establish communication yet, so he contacted the boys' wives and filled them in.

Alyce and Viola were furious and upset.

Alyce says I hope they're okay.

Viola says I do too; I'm going to give them a piece of my mind when they return.

They enter the security room where Fin is.

They see their husbands up on the security screen.

Stan is in a corner bawling and Ollie is pressing buttons in a panic.

Fin says Don't do that? he screams in a panicky voice into the microphone.

The boys jump.

….Did they hear that?

Stan and Ollie look around.

'Did they just hear a voice?'

Ollie presses a button and the boys' wives and Fin appear on a screen.

Fin says Boys, can you hear me?

The boys nod.

Fin says Pull the lever next to the blue button.

Stan pulls the lever next to the green button.

Ollie says Ooohhh, that's the wrong button.

The ship started to spin.

After the ship straightened out, the boys dizzily stood up.

Stan says Now what?

Stan scratched his head and Ollie gave his camera look.

Fin says D'oh

Ollie says I'll push the right button.

Ollie pushed the button.

The ship came to a halt.

Fin says Now I will put the coordinates into my computer and send it to you.

Meanwhile the wives became furious.

Alyce says Stanleeeee. You'd better have a good explaination to this.

Viola says Oliver! Get down here this instant.

The boys became panicked once more.

Ollie says Well sugar, we can't. You see, we are stuck up here til Fin gets us down.

The video with the girls cuts out.

Stan begins to cry once more.

Ollie says be brave Stanley, we must carry on. Don't lose hope. It's always darkest before dawn.

Stan says You're right Ollie; a clock is only right twice in a day.

Suddenly they hear a beeping sound.

The ship turns around and heads back for earth.

Once landed safely on the launch pad, Stan and Ollie exit the ship frantically.

Ollie says From now on, I'm keeping my feet on the ground.

Their wives come out, furious.

They start running after the boys, umbrellas in hand.

They hit the boys and the boys run off into the distance.


	4. 4 Rogue Song

The Rogue Song 1947

(Laurel and Hardy are directors.)

Based off of The Rogue Song 1930

Starring Mae Marsh, Blanche Sweet, Anita Garvin, Bobby Haron, John Gilbert, Roscoe Arbuckle

Stan and Ollie walked into Hal Roach Studios.

It was their first job as official head directors.

Stan was ready for it, Ollie wasn't so sure.

Hal Roach would be observing them, he wasn't going to let the boys have free reign just yet.

Stan's overconfidence would clash with Hal's controlling.

(Which is what would ultimately end their relationship in the future.)

Stan put on his tweed cap and gave his best professional look.

Stan: "Okay, can I have everyone's attention. We are going to film this in a sequence order."

Ollie gave the actors acting tips, sure they were professional actors but Ollie was the best of the bunch.

Stan commanded the show, he did not have good business sense but he had the ability to direct.

He begins explaining the basic plot.

The story takes place in the Russian Empire in the year 1910.

Yegor (Bobby Haron), a dashing (as well as singing) bandit leader meets Princess Vera (Mae Marsh) at a mountain inn.

They fall in love, but the relationship is shattered when Yegor kills Vera's brother, Prince Serge (John Gilbert), for raping his sister, Nadja (Anita Garvin), and driving her to suicide.

Yegor kidnaps Vera, forcing her to live a life of lowly servitude among the bandits.

Vera escapes, but she overhears members of the Russian Council (Roscoe Arbuckle and Blanche Sweet) plan to blow apart the dam.

By doing so, they would destroy the city at the bottom of the canyon.

Yegor and Vera stop them and save the town.

They are married and become King and Queen.

Stan: "That's how the scene ends."

Hal Roach says he has a Chaplin Complex, he wishes to be like Chaplin.

So he tells Stan this. Stan gets upset.

He focuses his feelings on his work.

Stan Laurel craves excellence, he demands nothing but perfection.

He is like Chaplin, he tries to be like Chaplin at least.

Chaplin is his idol, he expects nothing less than perfect.

Stan and Ollie demonstrate some scenes for the actors.

In this scene, there is a storm and a tent is blown away revealing Stan and Oliver.

They try to sleep without any cover.

A bear enters a cave.

Stan and Oliver decide to seek shelter in the cave and, because it is so dark, they can't see the bear.

Oliver thinks Stan is wearing a fur coat.

The bear begins to growl.

Stan and Oliver flee.

In his fear, Stan opens his mouth to scream and accidentally swallows a bee.

Stan spits out the fake bee.

Stan: "And end scene."

He smiled as everyone applauded.

"Nicely done Arthur." A voice said.

They turned around and saw none other than Charlie Chaplin standing in the doorway.

Stan rolled his eyes, of course Chaplin would tease him with his real name.

Stan: "Cheerio Charlie." His British side always came out around Chaplin.

Charlie: "So you are directing this picture?"

Stan: "Indeed."

Charlie just gave him a nonchalant look and left.

It made Stan's blood boil.

Charlie thought he was better than everyone else.

Ollie put his hands on Stan's shoulders to calm him.

Hal's words echo in his mind.

'You suffer from a Chaplin Complex. You want to be like Chaplin, but you never will.'

Stan takes a deep breath to control his emotions.

Ollie squeezes his hand and whispers "Focus."

So Stan directs once more and Ollie attends to the acting.

Stan spends his nights in the editing room; rewriting, cutting, editing film.

When they have filmed their final scene, they watch the rushes.

They screen the movie at a private theater to watch the audiences' reaction.

Then they are confident enough to preview the final cut of the movie.

The movie was a success, but Stan and especially Ollie would prefer to star in their own movies.

Stan still continued to edit and write for their future movies.

In Stan's professional and personal opinion, Ollie was the finest actor that ever lived.

His movements and expressions were so subtle, that's what made him a success as an actor.

Stan's creativeness and directing skill also added to their success.

Hal Roach knew that Stan did not have the business sense to be just like Chaplin.

Hal knew that Stan had a Chaplin Complex, that he idolized him and wanted to be like him.

He just didnt have the business sense of Chaplin.

Stan and Ollie have survived the test of time.

They are still the funniest and most relevant comedians to this very day.


	5. 5 Babes in the Woods

**Babes in the Woods (1949)**

**Starring : Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Chase, Vivian Oakland, Viola Richard**

Charlie Chase : Gnome, Vivian Oakland : Witch, Viola Richard : Nymph

Two children are walking in the lovely innocent looking woods.

These children are Stan and Ollie.

Stan dressed in red suspenders, a bowtie, and a little bowler.

Ollie dressed in blue suspenders, a tie, and a larger bowler.

Stan was skipping ahead of Ollie; he tripped and fell down.

Stan began to cry.

Ollie huffed and shook his head.

He helped Stan up.

Ollie says Why don't you be careful?

Stan says I'm sorry Ollie; I wasn't looking where I was going. I was looking where I had been.

Stan and Ollie walked along then Ollie saw something deep in the woods.

The mysterious shadow comes closer to them.

Stan and Ollie scream.

Then the creature reveals itself to nothing other than a little gnome.

Ollie says Why, you're a gnome.

Stan says He won't hurt us will he?

Ollie says Certainly not, you know what a gnome is don't you?

Stan says Sure, one exploded on my uncle when he was walking.

Ollie says Not a mine, a gnome. A little garden decoration.

Gnome (Charlie Hall) says Who are you calling a decoration?

The gnome pokes Ollie in the eye.

Stan says We're sorry mister gnome. We didn't know you could talk.

Stan and Ollie do a double take.

Ollie says wow, it is a talking gnome.

Gnome Hall says Yes and you're a talking human. Now come on, let's go to my village.

Stan and Ollie followed the gnome to the village where many other gnomes were living peacefully.

Then suddenly the sky clouded over and the gnomes all hid in their homes.

Gnome Hall says Quick hide, it's the witch.

Suddenly a sweet young girl appeared.

Girl (Vivian Oakland) says Excuse me young men, would you like to come visit my house and have some candy?

Stan says Candy? Yes, we would.

Ollie says She doesn't look like no witch. The gnomes must have mistaken her for someone else.

Stan and Ollie followed the girl to her house.

It was a pleasant looking gingerbread house; they went inside.

Girl says I have some candy here for you, come sit down.

The girl brought them some candy and the boys ate their fill.

Suddenly they became sleepy.

The candy had sleeping powder inside it.

Stan and Ollie fell asleep.

When they woke up, they were tied up and inside a giant basket.

Ollie says Wait a minute, what's going on?

Stan says Ollie, I'm scared.

*Stan starts to cry.

Then the witch enters the house.

Ollie says What happened to the little girl?

Witch says Fools, I was disguised as the girl to lure you two here.

Ollie says What do you want us for?

Witch says I'm going to have you for dinner.

Stan says Isn't that nice Ollie, she said she wants us for dinner.

Witch says No, you fool; that means I'm going to eat you.

*Stan begins to cry.

The witch leaves to gather more ingredients for the stew.

Stan says Ollie, I'm scared. What are we going to do?

Ollie says You think up your plan, I'm busy thinking of mine.

The Witch walked over to Ollie and poked him with a spoon.

Witch says Quiet, there will be no talk of anything like that.

Stan and Ollie try to break free of the ropes and climb out of the basket.

Numerous times, they would climb up the basket and fall backward each attempt.

They tried untying each other's ropes, that didn't work either.

The Witch went outside to gather some water for the stew.

While she was gone, Ollie spotted a knife; maybe he could cut the rope loose.

He tried to reach for it, but to no avail.

Suddenly the gnomes appeared at the window.

Gnome Hall says Stan and Ollie, we will get you out of there.

The gnomes leave to get help.

Stan and Ollie wait a while, and then the Witch came back.

The Witch takes Stan and puts him in a basket with the other veggies.

Witch says Now I'll need to boil the water.

The witch leaves and the gnomes appear at the doorway with a girl.

Gnome Hall says We've brought the nymph with us.

Nymph (Viola Richard) says We will get you out of there.

The Witch came back and took a crying Stan and put him into the pot.

Stan says Goodbye Ollie.

Ollie says Goodbye Stanley.

Then she was about to pour the boiling water on him, when an arrow came through and knocked the pot out of her hand.

Gnome Hall had shot his arrow at the Witch.

Gnome Hall says You're not eating them today.

Stan says What about tomorrow?

Ollie gave his camera look.

Then the Nymph flew into the house.

The Nymph and the Witch began to fight.

The gnomes untied Ollie and Stan, and then they all ran out of the house.

Ollie says That was a close one. Now we know not to take candy from strangers.

Stan says Yes, unless it's a stranger we know.

Stan and Ollie watched as the Witch and Nymph fought.

Finally the Nymph defeated the Witch.

Stan and Ollie and the Nymph returned to Gnome Village.

Once safely inside the village, Stan and Ollie sat down in Gnome Hall's house.

Stan says We never got our candy. Let's go back and ask her if we can have some.

Stan goes to sit up and Ollie pulls him down.

Ollie says You're not going back there unless you want to be a meal.

Nymph says Not to worry, I made sure she won't bother anyone else again.

Laurel and Hardy decided to remain in Gnome Village and live next to Gnome Hall.

The Nymph watched over the village for the rest of their lives.


	6. 6 Spot of Trouble & Birds of a Feather

**A Spot of Trouble and Birds of a Feather 1952**

Southend, UK

Stan and Ollie are sleeping at the train station.

Their next train doesn't leave until morning.

A cop comes by, there is a sign that says No Loitering.

(The events that take place are the exact same as in Night Owls.)

After spending a day in jail, they are released and find a hotel to stay at.

Stan and Ollie in bed.

Stan has the hiccups.

Stan says I can't sleep.

Ollie says Close your eyes and count the sheep jumping over the fence. It'll send you right to sleep.

Stan says You know that's a good idea. I'll try that. Goodnight Ollie.

Ollie says Goodnight Stanley.

Stan begins counting aloud.

Stan says One, two, three… (Squeak)

Ollie says What is it now? Your hiccups again?

Stan says No, One of the sheep missed the fence.

Ollie says Will you please go to sleep.

Stan finally goes to sleep.

The next morning

Cop says Good morning gentlemen.

Stan says Good afternoon.

Cop says What can I do for you.

Ollie says we would like to get a new drivers license please.

Cop says Certainly Just fill out this application form.

Ollie says Im sorry sir but I cant write.

Cop says Well get your friend to fill it out for you.

Ollie says well you see sir, he can write but he cant read. We thought you would be kind enough to fill it in for us.

Cop says well theres a rule against this normally, but under the circumstances, Ill break the rules.

Stan says Well that's very kind of you, thank you so much.

Cop says Now what is your name.

Ollie says Oliver N Hardy and this is my good friend Mr Laurel.

Stan says how do you do sir. Im very happy to meet you.

Cop says What does the N stand for?

Stan says N-rey.

Cop says N-rey , you do not write Henry with an n.

Stan says Course you dont , you write it with a pencil. Whoever heard of sucha thing.

Cop says Now what is your address.

Ollie says 234 south main street.

Cop says 234 south main street.

Stan says Oh that was before we moved.

Cop says What did you move for?

Ollie says You see sir, we couldn't get the landlord to raise our rent.

Cop says now what would the landlord raise your rent for.

Stan says Well we couldn't raise it could we Ollie.

Ollie says No Stanley.

Cop says Oh never mind that. Now I want you to listen very carefully, have you ever been apprehended for neglecting the traffic regulations.

Ollie says I beg your pardon. says

Cop says Have you ever been arrested for breaking the traffic laws?

Ollie says Oh, yes sir. Once for speeding.

Cop says Speeding? How fast were you going?

Ollie says Ten miles an hour.

Cop says Ten miles an hour? That's not speeding, my dear boy. You can go ten miles an hour any place.  
Stan says Not on the sidewalk, could you, Ollie?

Cop says Now I want you to listen very carefully. Have you ever had an accident?

Ollie says Well none to speak of. You see stan and I were driving down the street one night in a very heavy fog. Not paying any attention to anything.

Stan says That's the time you fell asleep, you remember Ollie.

Ollie says That's right Stanley.

Cop says I see, continue.

Ollie says Well all of a sudden I realize I have to make a left hand turn. Naturally I stuck out my right hand indicator. Didn't I Stanley?

Stan says Just like that Ollie.

Stan moves his hand and hits Ollie in the face.

Cop says You're not supposed to do that. Don't you know anything about driving?

Stan says No, that's why we lost our license.

Cop says Get out of here.

So Stan and Ollie were without a car.

The next morning they went looking for work.

The found jobs as local beer testers.

They decided to test their skills at the local pub, where they got spiffed, especially Ollie.

Their moto was The more we drink, the more we earn.

Ollie became so drunk, that he claimed he was happy as a lark. And he felt fit to fly with the birds.

Ollie fell out a window and into a river below.

He was brought to the mental ward of the County Hospital under the circumstances of insanity.

Stan came to visit Ollie and brought a nice onion and jam sandwich.  
Ollie says Now why did you bring me an onion and jam sandwich? You KNOW I can't eat that!

Stan says Why not, you always said you liked jam and you like onions too.

Ollie says I do, but not together... Onion and jam sandwich... Mmmmmph!

Ollie says Why did they bring me here?

Stan says Didn't you hear, they think youre a menthol case.

Ollie says A menthol case, whats that?

Stan says It means your balmy. You jumped out of a window into a river.

Ollie says I don't remember any of that. How did this all start?

Stan says well asfter we got the jobs as whiskey tasters, we went out for a celebration. You felt so hapy you said you would like to fly around with the birds for awhile.

Ollie says Fly around with the birds.

Stan says Sure, you opened the window and out you went.

Ollie says You mean literally.

Stan says I can see you now, flapping your arms like a cuckoo.

Ollie says Well why didn't you stop me?

Stan says Well I celebrated too and I thought you could do it.

Ollie says It's a miracle I'm alive.

Stan says It sure is lucky you fell int eh rive.

Ollie says fell in the river, how did I get out? I cant swim.

Stan says You can think me for that, I caught a bus to the nearest phone and called the police.

Suddenly a nurse came in.

Nurse says Good afternoon little dickey bird.

Ollie says What do you mean dickey bird?

Nurse says It says here you think you're a bird.

Ollie says How, do I look like a bird?

Nurse says I wouldn't know.

Stan says She's nuts.

Nurse says What are you doing here?

Stan says I came to see him.

Nurse says Well for your information, no visitors are allowed, so get out.

Stan says You can't put me out, im a relative. I'm his son and he's not married.

Nurse says That explains everything, you look like you were hateched.

Ollie says Nevermind what he looks like, What does that chart say.

Nurse says For the attention of Doctor Beserk, patient thinks he is a bird. I advise immediate frontal lovotomy and dissection of the cerebellum.

Ollie looks fearful and gulps.

Nurse says Oh dont worry Mr. Hardy, Doctor Beserks operations are always successful... Even if the patient dies.

That does it. We are getting out of here. Ollie exclaims.

I think youre right Ollie. Stan says.

The nurse scowls at them.

Stan tips his hat and climbs onto the edge with Ollie.

He does a double take and motions Ollie back in.

Ollie starts twiddling his tie.

Stan says Stop wiggling your tie.  
Ollie says What do you mean stop wiggling my tie?  
Stan says Well every time you get fancy, you start wiggling your tie and it looks silly.  
Ollie says If you interrupt me again, I'll wiggle you.  
Stan cries says I don't want to be wiggled.

Nurse says Get into bed.

Stan and Ollie both get into the bed.

Then Doctor Beserk enters the room.

Doctor Beserk says Who is the patient here?

Stan smiled and pointed to Ollie.

Ollie pushes Stan out of the bed.

Stan says I'm not the patient, he's the one whos insanitary.

Ollie becomes angry.

Ollie says How dare you make such a statement. Why I've never seen you before in my life. My name is Ticklebottom.

Doctor Beserk says Then what are you doing here?

Ollie says I came here to visit a relative and got into this room by mistake.

Ollie starts laughing.

Ollie says Whoever heard of anyone thinking he's a bird?

Doctor Beserk says Youre free to go.

The nurse pulls out the back of the sheet for Ollie to get out.

Meanwhile, Stan had gotten out a hardboiled egg and accidentally dropped it into Ollie's bed.

The doctor and nurse notice this and put Ollie back into bed.

Ollie says I didn't lay those eggs. Stan brought them. Well here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.

Stan begins to cry says Well I couldn't help it.

Doctor Bezerk says What kind of a bird do you think you are, a canary or a buzzard!

Ollie begins to chirp and flap, then makes a run for it, with Stan following close behind.

Stan and Ollie get to the dock, then Ollie turns to Stan.

Give me the tickets. Ollie says.

I don't have the tickets. Stan says.

Ollie says Well you forgot our tickets in America and now we have to swim back.

Stan says How far is it?

Ollie says 3,000 miles.

Stan says That's not too bad only 1,500 miles each.

Then the boys see a cattle boat and sneak on; they sail back to America.

As they are sailing, Stan adopts a pet ostrich.

Stan and Ollie bring the ostrich home and keep it as their pet.


	7. 7 Hats Off with an Ostrich

Laurel and Hardy Hats Off with the Ostrich from Any Old Port

Laurel and Hardy are trying to get a washing machine up the Vendome Dockwray Steps, Meanwhile Stan's pet ostrich is making this task very difficult.

Laurel and Hardy are looking for jobs when they come upon this ad.

Wanted! Snappy salesman to sell Kwickway washer. Earn big money in your spare time, no experience necessary.

Laurel, Hardy, and their pet ostrich enter James Finlayson's store.

Fin says Out, out with that bird.

Ollie says Well sir if you would come outside, we would like to be salesmen for that washing machine you have.

They test the washing machine and the machine sprays Fin in the face.

Then the ostrich bits Fin's nose.

Fin says Desist and get that bird out of my face.

Somehow Stan and Ollie are employed by James Finlayson to sell a washing machine.

Many times, they would try to sell the washing machine, but everyone was scared off by the biting ostrich.

After many failed attempts to sell the washing machine, they come upon Anita Garvin.

Anita is at the top of the steps.

Stan and Ollie climb up the steps, leaving the ostrich at the bottom.

Anita says Would you mail a letter for me?

Stan and Ollie go down the steps, carrying the machine.

Anita says Wait, come back.

Stan goes back up the steps.

Anita says I want to talk to the other gentleman.

Ollie brings the washing machine up the steps.

Anita says I forgot the stamp.

She hands the stamp to Ollie.

Stan has finally had enough and kicks her in her daily duties.

They carry the machine down the steps.

The ostrich is nowhere to be seen.

Then Dorothy Coburn comes upon them.

Excuse me gentlemen, may I have a demonstration of your machine?

Ollie says Why certainly, Stanley.

Dorothy says Not here, there at the top of the steps.

They carry the machine up the steps.

Meanwhile Dorothy lifts her dress up to reveal her lovely legs.

Stan and Ollie become distracted and drop the machine down the steps.

They sit by the washing machine defeated.

Frustrated Ollie throws Stan's hat on the ground and stomps on it, a crowd begins to gather.

Then Stan attempts to kick Ollie's hat, but stubs his toe instead.

Soon multiple men are entering the 'hat throwing' argument.

A policeman comes upon the scene and escorts everyone out.

Stan and Ollie stay behind to find their hats in the pile.

They find their crushed bowlers among the mess.

Stan says At least the machine wasn't damaged.

Then the policeman comes back.

Officer says I'm here on a report of a mad ostrich biting everyone. Do you know where I could find the owners?

Stan says Well I own an ostrich, he's right behind you.

The ostrich comes up behind the officer and bits his hat.

Stan, Ollie, and the ostrich were all arrested and put into a single cell.


End file.
